Monday, August 15, 2011

How can I make this better?

Because this is part way through, I have no idea what's going on. I suggest if you post such an excerpt, you also include a short paragraph explaining the story so far. Because of that, I really don't like this, because I can't understand it. The writing style looks ok, but I suggest you pick up on visualising the area. What kind of morning was it? How cold was it? etc.

No comments:

Post a Comment